Hadith of Husbands Hurting Wives: A Reflection for Husbands

Hadith Husband Hurts Wife – As we all know, men are destined to be the head of the family. But that doesn’t mean they freely control, snap and abuse their wives.

As long as what the wife does is not a sin, then the husband should forgive. After all, there is no perfect wife in this world.

It’s not good to only remember the bad things your wife has done. A wife is a child willing to leave her parent’s house and ready to live with her husband.

So it is unlawful if a husband makes his wife cry without rights and hurts his wife. This has been mentioned in the Al-Quran and Hadith.

When a husband is unjust to his wife, he has committed a great sin, and his body is no longer prohibited from hellfire.

Most people may think that women are the poison of the world. But it must be understood that in Islam, women are likened to world jewels.

Women are extraordinary figures, andwho are so solid and robust in living life. But on the other hand, they can also turn out to be vulnerable and fragile.

Because, after all, no human is perfect in this world. Don’t just remember the wrong side, but also reflect the goodness of a wife who has cared for you, served food on the table, washed your clothes, and educated your children.

In the Al-Quran, in Surah Al-Nisa verse 19 to be precise, it explains the law of husbands who hurt their wives; the following is the meaning:

“O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to marry women by force and do not trouble them because you want to take back a part of what you have given them, except if they do a real abomination, and associate with them appropriately.

Then if you don’t like them, (then be patient) because maybe you don’t like something, even though Allah made it a lot of good.” (QS Al-Nisa: 19).

Then, is there a hadith that explains about husbands hurting their wives? Of course, there is. Muslims, of course, already know that Islam is a complete religion. All things have been arranged so that Muslims can live in a directed manner and are blessed by Allah SWT, including household affairs.

As mentioned above, in Islam, women are considered world jewels. That means women are extraordinary creatures.

Therefore, as a husband, you must treat your wife well and not hurt your wife either physically or psychologically.

Hadith Husband Hurts His Wife and Law

In this world, many husbands often hurt their wives very quickly and are light on their wives when they do something wrong. Whereas in reality, problems can be solved with a cool head without hurting one of them physically.

Instead of apologizing and not repeating it, the wife will feel suffering inside and out. What’s more, Islam strictly prohibits husbands who often beat their wives. For more details, here is one of the hadiths that husbands hurt their wives that you need to understand.

From Jabir bin Abdullah, the Prophet said during the pilgrimage sermon:

“Fear Allah SWT regarding the affairs of your wives, because you have taken them with a mandate from Allah SWT, and you have made lawful their farji with the words of Allah SWT, so your right over them is so that their wives do not allow people you hate to enter your house .

If they do it then hit them with a blow that doesn’t hurt, while their right over you is that you give them their livelihood and also their clothes in a good way” (HR. Muslim: 1218)

From the hadith above,, we can conclude that ,we are never taught to be rude to women in Islam. Because they are also humans who have soft feelings and are very fragile. They will feel tremendous pain if they are hurt even a little.

Therefore, women should be treated well. When a woman does something wrong, don’t face it with too much anger.

Husband Law Hurts Wife

As we understand, the husband is the priest for his family. Allah SWT mandates the husband to be a leader for his wife and children.

Even though the husband’s position is also the head of the household, that does not mean they can be rude to their wife at will, hurting them with harsh words, especially to the point of committing violence.

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As taught by the Prophet Muhammad SAW that a husband must always do good to his wife and not hurt his wife. Not only that, but Allah SWT also says, which means:

“And wives have rights that are balanced with their obligations according to the honorable way.” (QS. Al-Baqarah: 228)

Meanwhile, Ath-Tabari revealed that the verse above has a meaning about the obligation for the husband not only to provide a living but also the obligation to improve his attitude towards his wife and also not to offend his wife.

This is done because wives have obeyed Allah SWT’s commands and obeyed their husbands well.

Muawiyah bin Haidah once asked the Prophet SAW,

“O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of a wife towards her husband?” The Prophet replied, “You feed your wife when you eat, and you give clothes when you dress. Do not hit his face, do not insult him, and do not shut him up except in the house.” (HR. Abu Dawud)

From the two arguments above, namely from the hadiths and the Koran, it is clear that the wife’s position in Islam is highly exalted. A wife should not only be burdened with obligations but also get her rights properly.

Meanwhile, husbands also not only make a living but also have to treat their wives well and always say good things to their wives.

Because harsh words will hurt the wife. This means the husband has violated his rights which must be fulfilled, as explained above.

There is a hadith that states that a man who has good morals is a man who is kind to his wife. From Abdullah bin ‘Amr, he Shallallahu’alaihi wa sallam said,

“The person whose faith is most perfect among the believers is the person who has the best morals among them, and the best of you is the one who has the best morals towards his wives.” (HR. At Tirmidhi and Ibnu Majah)

Then, what if the wife commits a sin and violates religion?

Allah says in Surah An-Nisa verse 34,

“…Women whose nusyuz you worry about, then advise them, and stay away from them in bed, and beat them. If they obey you, don’t look for ways to trouble them. Verily, Allah is Most High and Most Great.”

In verse above, we can conclude that if a wife does something that violates religion, then as a husband, he should advise his wife in good ways and words.

If the wife cannot be advised, the husband may silence them and separate beds. If that still doesn’t work, then the husband is allowed to beat his wife, but with the condition that the beating may not cause injury and may not hit her in the face.

In addition, husbands are not allowed to beat with sticks and other hard hard objects. The punches can be done by using the hands and not hurting. But only for lessons.

Compared to men, women are the weakest physically and mentally creatures. Therefore, the husband should be kind to his wife because a woman’s heart is easily hurt.

The husband must treat his wife well unless the wife commits a very heinous act. However, how to reprimand him should not hurt his wife or violence that can hurt her.

Husband’s Sins Against Wife

Below are various sins that husbands often commit to their wives because they neglect their obligations to them.

1. Not Teaching Religion to Wife

Husbands who are experts at their jobs, provide a living for their wives, and meet the various needs of their wives may have a lot. But how many husbands are willing to teach their wives and children religious knowledge?

Even though ,this is the obligation of all husbands, it is obligatory to distance themselves and their families from the pain of the punishment of the grave and the fire of hell. Like the hadith below:

“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from the fire of hell whose fuel is people and stones, the guardians are angels who are harsh, harsh and do not disobey God against what He commands them and do what they are commanded,” (QS. At-Tahrim: 6).

2. Not Jealous of Wife

Being jealous to an average degree can be a sign of love. So if a couple doesn’t feel jealous of their wife, they must question their love.

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Especially if the wife goes out with other men, but the partner doesn’t feel jealous. That is a big mistake made by the husband.

“The three groups that Allah will not see on the Day of Resurrection are those who disobey both their parents, women who resemble men and ad-Dayyuts,” (HR An-Nasa’i ‘hasan’ by Sheikh Albani, see ash-Shahihah: 674).

3. Not giving a wife a living

Today there are many examples of husbands who do not provide for their wives. This is a big sin for husbands because giving maintenance to the wife is the primary obligation and responsibility of the husband.

Just imagine if a wife who has sacrificed leaving her parents to live with her husband is not valued or given a living.

This has also been explained in the hadith of the Prophet, which reads:

“The Messenger of God said, a person is considered a sinner if he neglects the expenses of the person he is responsible for,” (HR. Abu Dawud no. 1442 CD, Muslim, Ahmad, and Thabrani).

4. Hate Wife

The wife is the husband’s life partner. With a wife, a husband will go through a very long life journey. If husbands hate their wives, then they will most likely face failure.

Because the theme of his life no longer gains trust. So it will damage the relationship itself.

Rasulullah SAW has also warned husbands not to hate their wives. Especially if his wife is a believer, as the hadith below:

“Let not a believing husband hate his believing wife. If he does not like one character from him, he will definitely like another character from him,” (HR Muslim).

5. Light Hand to Wife

Light-handed here means it’s easy to hit and hurt your wife. If there is a problem or dispute, the husband often chooses to resolve it with violence. This is very hated by Allah SWT.

“You should feed him if you eat, give him clothes if you dress him, don’t hit him in the face, don’t insult him…” (HR Ibnu Majah authenticated by Shaykh Albani).

Reflections for Husbands Who Are Rude to Wives

Until now, some husbands have bad attitudes, such as often yelling at their wives and always showing anger for various reasons, even for trivial matters.

In addition, because of the problems that husbands may be facing, the wife often becomes the outlet for his anger. Ultimately, the husband says bad words and even acts harshly toward his wife.

Such a thing is undoubtedly very contrary to what has been conveyed by Rasulullah SAW,

“The best of you, (that is) the best for his wife and I am the best person among you to my wife. [HR. Tirmidhi].

Islam is a religion that glorifies a wife as taught by the Prophet Muhammad to his wives. Therefore, Islam does not like the attitude of husbands misbehaving towards their wives.

The thing that needs to be understood by the husband is that perhaps the services that a wife has performed cannot be assessed in material terms.

However, the burdens of a wife, such as conceiving, giving birth, raising children, and taking care of her husband and all household matters, cannot be replaced by anything.

The feelings of a woman who is very gentle and full of affection will feel hurt if she is yelled at and gets rough treatment from her husband. Therefore, all husbands must think again if they want to speak loudly to their wives.

What might happen if a husband often yells and acts harshly towards his wife is a heart that feels hurt, and can make the wife change her attitude to vengeful, hateful and lose her sincere feelings of love.

Then change with feelings of hatred towards husbands. Therefore, don’t be rude to your wife if you don’t want to get it all.

All men who have become husbands should reflect and think again about everything their wives have done.

Apart from that, the husband should also think about the law of hurting his wife in Islam. As a wise husband, you should treat your wife well, hug and love her and always speak kindly and gently to cool the wife’s heart.

Those explanations of hadiths that husbands hurt their wives must be understood and contemplated. For whatever reason, no one, especially husbands against wives, should commit violence. Because it causes not only physical injury but also mental.