Deep Talk, An Art To Deepen Relationships

Deep talk is – Human life can never be separated from problems and unfortunately they can appear anywhere, such as at home, office, school, hangouts, playgrounds, even places of worship. Every problem that arises, definitely makes someone overthinking or can also become annoyed.

As a social being who is obliged to interact with other people, it is impossible for you to avoid problems. It’s a shame, when problems come, sometimes you have to keep them to yourself until you feel tired of dealing with them.

In situations like that, deep talk can be a way out so that you are a little relieved from feeling tired. Yes, think of it as cheap entertainment solace. However, you must have friends who can understand you to do deep talk.

Well, how come you can do that? What exactly is deep talk ? Why can’t everyone do it? What benefits can you get from this activity? How to do deep talk ? Let’s find the answer below.

Definition of Deep Talk

In short, deep talk is a “deeper” conversation about various topics that is carried out by two people. In this case, what is meant by the topic of depth is not just a hobby or the weather, but other things that are happening in your life or something that is interesting to you and the person you are talking to.

For example, such as politics, social issues, ideology, or other issues that are currently hot. Interestingly, sometimes deep talk starts with a silly question, but it can make you express all your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. That’s why some call deep talk deep conversations.

If deep talk starts with a silly question, it’s common for other people who are near you to think that you and the person you’re talking to are weird or take things too seriously.

For example, you imagine what if humans really move to mars one day. The discussion then continues with reflections about your plan to live on the red planet. Topics like these actually spark the imagination of you and your interlocutor.

Why Can’t Everyone Do Deep Talk ?

For some people, deep talk is an activity that is difficult to do. Especially for those who are not curious enough to ask questions and don’t dare to express their perspective.

Therefore, deep talk is usually only done by two people. Because yes, it is quite difficult to find someone who is on the same frequency as you. Not infrequently, people who are close or have known you for a long time, are actually not good deep talk friends.

However, along with your life journey, you will definitely find someone who immediately “clicks” when talking or communicating. Don’t give up on searching if you haven’t met the right deep talk opponent yet.

As part of the “art of speaking”, there are actually certain tips that can train this ability. Therefore, the book Talking Has Art written by Oh Su Hyang you must read because this book contains various techniques of communication, persuasion, and negotiation.

How to Do a Deep Conversation or Deep Talk ?

For some people, communication is not easy even though this has become part of everyday life. Some people even find it difficult to open a chat and are more comfortable being a listener.

Luckily when doing deep talk , the chat often just flows. Especially if you’ve met the right person. Therefore, the main task for you is to find a trusted person who can listen without judging whatever complaints or perspectives you put out.

After that, try to find the right place, situation, and time because these three also play a role in making the conversation deeper. As much as possible, make sure you and your interlocutor have free time to talk at length.

Choose a place that is comfortable and can make your mood better, relax and calm. That way, you can chat freely without being disturbed by the environment around you.

If the situation and conditions are favorable, you can start the conversation with small talk, such as asking how the other person is doing or how busy they are. Remember, deep talk doesn’t have to start with a heavy topic. In fact, even a funny story can be an effective opener.

Not infrequently, light topics like this actually raise other topics that are more interesting to explore and discuss further. Then, to keep the conversation going, it’s best to use open-ended questions.

The reason is, open questions that start with “5W + 1H” will make your interlocutor interested in explaining or telling more than closed questions where the answers are only “yes” and “no”.

You can also make questions from the conversation that is issued by your interlocutor, so listen carefully when he is talking. Therefore, when we do deep talk, we will indirectly learn to be good listeners.

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For example, he said he was working on a new project to build his portfolio. You can ask the reasons that made him choose the project and what difficulties he faced while working on it and so on.

The longer the chat you have will continue to expand to other topics. Don’t forget, you also have to tell the problem or issue that interests you.

What are the Benefits of Doing Deep Talk ?

The most common benefit that you will get when doing deep talk is that you can become closer to the person you are talking to. However, the benefits don’t stop there, because there are still many advantages or benefits that you can get from this activity.

1. Feeling More Relieved

Many studies have found that when you share negative emotions with those closest to you, you feel less stressed and pressured, both physical and mental. Therefore, you should not harbor problems and negative feelings for too long.

The reason is, when you issue negative feelings, you are unconsciously reducing the response of the amygdala. The amygdala is the part of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotional responses such as fear, anger or sadness.

More than that, by accepting your situation that is not okay, you can also find peace and be free from anger and sadness.

2. Add Happiness

According to research in Psychological Science , people who frequently engage in deep talk are much happier than those who rarely engage in it. Unfortunately, until now it is still not certain what connects the two.

One possibility that is obtained is because humans really need to interact with other humans. So, whatever the answer, what is clear is that deep talk is very effective in strengthening human relations.

3. Expanding Viewpoints About Life

Every human being you meet must have a point of view about something. Knowing other people’s opinions or perspectives will make you realize that there are still other points of view that you have never thought of at all.

In addition, Sinaumed’s can also learn to see a problem from a different angle. This ability will often become new knowledge that is useful for developing yourself.

4. Maintaining the Warmth of Relationships

For those of you who have a partner, try to do deep talk with him. If necessary, make a regular schedule because it turns out that communication like this is very good for maintaining the warmth of your relationship.

Even if you’ve been with him for years, it’s not certain that you can know and read his mind. This healthy communication will prevent you from misunderstandings, including for trivial matters.

Deep talk also allows you to find out what feelings he is feeling or it could be the problem he is facing. That way, you can provide a solution or at least understand him.

How to deep talk with your partner so you don’t turn into bickering

Seeing the benefits of deep talk to maintain a warm relationship with your partner, of course you can’t miss it. However, be careful, this activity can turn into a fight if you don’t apply the three methods below.

Speak Slower

When talking with your partner, make sure you always pay attention to the choice of words you use. These words will be very influential to improve communication and make him feel comfortable.

Don’t let you only think about your own interests and force him to accept everything that comes out of your mouth. Listen carefully to what he has to say, ask relevant questions, and respond to show that you are interested in what he has to say.

Also consider your partner’s emotions

One of the times that is prone to triggering fights is when you and He are exhausted, either because of work, assignments, or something else. At a time like this, of course you have to understand how he feels so that the fight doesn’t get worse.

One way is by deep talk , but since he’s tired, it’s best to consider his feelings too. Ask questions that can trigger him to express his feelings.

Also, find out what he really needs. It could be that he needs a break or just wants to be heard from what he has to say, it could also be that he wants his point of view to be understood.

If that’s not possible, don’t continue deep talk with your partner. It’s better to find another, more appropriate time than having to start a fight. If something like that happens, then you can invite deep talk when you meet or before going to bed.

Moreover, in a relationship, the form of communication also varies. So, not just deep talk . You also need to remember, he also has the right to choose the communication concept he wants. However, maintaining communication is far more important than forcing deep talk at inopportune times.

Be More Open

Sharing personal things and feelings of insecurity is one of the keys to having a lasting relationship. You can be honest with him about anything, whether you like it or not. With honesty like this, you will be more sensitive to his feelings, and vice versa.

You can also keep things to yourself that you don’t want to tell him. If possible, share the sorrows and difficulties you are experiencing so that your relationship can become even more intimate.

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All of these things are done to achieve a goal and the goal is for you to understand each other and not judge easily when problems arise.

Well, talking with your partner is quite risky. But if you know the power of talking itself, maybe Sinaumed’s will be more than happy to do it. So it’s best to read the book The Power Of Talk & Body Language by Abhicandra YS.

Topics You Can Discuss When Deep Talk With Your Partner

Sexual Education

Even though it’s still seen as a taboo topic to talk about, there’s nothing wrong with trying to talk about sexual education with your partner. Especially if you and he already have a steady plan to step into marriage.

Knowledge about sex can help you to understand each other’s feelings while in bed. Joseph Grennys, a social researcher, revealed that couples who often talk about sex tend to be 10 times happier than couples who rarely discuss it.

You also have to talk about sexual expectations so that your sex life after marriage will be warmly maintained. Not only that, by knowing each other’s sexual expectations, you can also try to fulfill them.

Then, there are also topics on reproductive health, planning for children, and the use of contraceptives. Although, maybe the discussion is a bit awkward, but this is still necessary so that you and he can understand each other.

Mental health

It cannot be denied, mental health has now become a common conversation among young people. Especially the millennial and Z generations. Moreover, this mental health can indeed affect behavior, thinking, and also mood.

In addition, a healthy mentality is also very much needed so that the body and mind continue to function properly. When this understanding is lacking, it is likely to have a negative impact on your emotions and mentality, thus triggering fights in your relationship.

Talking about mental health cannot be separated from the thing called happiness. For Sinaumed’s who want to know the art of being happy, they can buy a book by Ardhina Nugrahaeni entitled The Art of Happiness: A Way to Find Your Happiness From Now, Tomorrow, and Forever


Just like sexual education, finance is still taboo to talk about. However, in the context of being in a relationship, this topic is actually very crucial because it can affect the continuity of your relationship.

FYI, most of the divorces that occur in this world are caused by economic problems. Therefore, you and he must understand each other’s point of view on financial matters so that there are no misunderstandings.


For those of you who are determined to marry him, it’s better to start talking about parenting or raising children. Find out what parenting skills you have, how is your perspective on raising children, and other important things. The goal is that when your little one is present in your household later, you can provide maximum support for him.

Body Positivity

Body positivity has recently emerged as a topic that is hotly discussed by society, especially on social media. You can also discuss this matter with your partner because it is quite related to mental health.

Moreover, societal standards regarding appearance often have a negative effect on mental health. In addition, instilling body positivity also cannot be done easily. It takes a long time to make you commit to treating each other’s bodies properly and properly.

Conflict Resolution

As long as you are in contact with humans, you are bound to encounter conflict, even if you don’t want it yourself. Likewise in love relationships. You and your partner will face many problems that must be resolved properly.

To make it happen, maturity is needed which acts as the foundation. With maturity, you can discuss problems with a cool head and find solutions together.

After getting married, the problems you face will be more complex and intense. When you are used to dealing with it together, then you will be able to solve problems that come well.

Self reflection

Not infrequently, simple things can make you know how to think partner. For example, the question “how was today?” which discusses her daily activities, including her problems and achievements.

From these questions, you can understand how to deal with the stress he feels at work, how he builds relationships with “annoying” coworkers, or how he deals with his superiors and subordinates, how he views the work he does, and much more. .

Whatever the topic, the most important thing is that you have to listen well when doing deep talk because by listening to other people, you can be wiser in your attitude. As Muthia Sayekti wrote in the book The Art of Listening: Hearing What’s Unspoken, Understanding What’s Unsaid.


Deep talk is a way of communication that makes you and the other person talk. Anyone who does it has the goal of digging deeper into feelings and thoughts and then conveying them more freely. Therefore, never take it for granted because communication is one of the important keys to maintaining human relations.

That’s the discussion about deep talk , which is accompanied by the benefits of doing deep talk. So that you and your partner become a more romantic and happy couple, you can find the information at . With sinaumedia, you can get #MoreWithReading information

Author: Gill

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