Manners When Talking – When having a conversation with someone it can be a first impression for someone to describe ourselves outwardly. Because in a conversation, the style of language, choosing the right words, and how we can discuss a topic are definitely the main impressions for someone judging how we are.
Interactive conversation or communication is social interaction between two or more people. Developing conversation and etiquette skills is an important part of socialization. The focus of language teaching and learning is often on developing conversational skills in the new language. Starting a conversation with friends or other people must use the proper manners so that the conversation becomes more civilized and attracts our interlocutor to talk to.
In a conversation manners are also very important to use and of course adjust to who the other person we are dealing with. Because it feels unethical to chat with older people, such as teachers or lecturers, not using formal language. For this reason, it is very important to learn manners when we speak so that the person we are talking to is also respectful and respects us.
Furthermore, the discussion regarding how to have good manners when speaking tea=we summarize and can be listened to below!
Definition of Manners
Before discussing further about good manners when speaking, let’s first look at what is the definition of manners below!
Manners are our reaction to the actions or actions of other people towards us by prioritizing social norms and polite norms. Because manners is an attitude of respect for other people, both people who are older, the same age, or even younger than us.
In Indonesia itself various forms of manners are imaged through the absorption of various strong cultures throughout the archipelago. In some areas, such as Java, they use Kromo Inggil or fine Javanese to greet older people. All manners that apply in the archipelago are certainly influenced by local customs that adjust to the social conditions of its citizens, of course.
In Islam, manners can be called adab. The role of adab is very vital in the teachings of Islam, one might even say that one must prioritize adab first and then knowledge. Because, someone who only relies on knowledge without being accompanied by adab is like a big tree with weak roots.
Etymologically, manners come from the words grammar and habits. Tata means rules, regulations or arrangements. Although krama means politeness, both words can be interpreted as general rules of politeness that have been established. Manners are polite behavior that is applied in everyday life. This behavior reflects the personality that has been formed since childhood through the ways taught by parents and the surrounding environment. Manners are also part of human nature from which habits are formed, such as eating and drinking, dressing and other human habits. Behavior is also an individual characteristic and becomes a person’s character.
Manners can also be interpreted as a rule of life in human relations. Customs are closely related to ethics. Ethics is a theory of human behavior that is seen in terms of good and bad that can be determined by reason. According to experts, manners have several meanings, namely as follows:
- Bertens emphasized that manners have three meanings, namely manners in the sense of values or norms that serve as regulatory guidelines for a person or group of people. behavior, adab in the sense of a set of principles or moral values of character, and adab in the sense of good and bad knowledge.
- According to Black, manners is a science that describes how humans treat each other.
- According to Taryati, customs or morals are rules that are inherited and developed in the culture of a society, with which a person can create familiarity, mutual understanding, and mutual respect in interacting with others, according to established practices.
Based on the above understanding, it can be concluded that manners are regular actions or activities in daily life in accordance with the customs or norms that apply when interacting with the environment. In other words, manners are conventional norms governing manners that are agreed with the environment.
Good Manners When Speaking
How to Talk Talking is one of the daily activities of humans.
Manners in speaking is a way of speaking that shows the quality of personality. When speaking, you should use polite language, familiarize yourself with greetings, careful intonation, avoid harsh vocabulary and use words such as sorry, excuse me, and thank you.
Reports to the spruce, avoids not taking turns when talking (interrupting), lying and creating an uncomfortable atmosphere, asking rude questions and not allowing others to express their opinion. Examples of poor speech patterns include suddenly changing the subject, interrupting the conversation, maintaining eye contact while speaking, answering when asked, monopolizing the conversation, speaking sharply, or speaking in a loud voice like shouting.
To avoid speaking that is not in accordance with these manners, let’s see how examples of good manners when speaking below!
1. Greet enthusiastically
Starting a conversation with enthusiasm has a positive effect on communication. As a good means of communication, language should inspire those who hear it, so before you communicate, remember to greet others with a smile or words of encouragement.
2. Look into the eyes of the other person
When someone else is saying something, the gaze and direction of the eyes must be looking and fixed on the other person. This signals others that what they are saying is being heard correctly. Do not turn left and right too often, because it will create the impression of being rude and disrespectful.
Showing enthusiasm for others is an example of good behavior. This enthusiasm is shown by paying attention and looking at the other person. Otherwise, pay attention to what is being said.
Be polite. For example, it’s good for parents to look down a bit. However, it’s a good idea to look her in the eye when talking to peers.
3. Don’t Talk About Other People’s Bad Things
Speak about things that are good and useful, so that communication has clear meaning and benefits. Don’t just get involved in conversations that contain hatred, SARA, racism, and other people’s ugliness.
4. If you cough, cover your mouth
In synchronous communication, the habit of sitting, standing, and other ethical rules that must be considered and followed during communication is a good habit. Especially when you cough or sneeze, cover your mouth with your hand to show respect to other people or those around you.
5. Do not force
Smooth communication requires using soft words and not forcing the other person to fulfill all our demands. During interpersonal communication, try to ask questions in a gentle and friendly manner, so that the purpose of the communication can be well received.
6. Listen carefully
Communication involves long conversations with each other, so good manners or communication ethics is when the other person is talking, listen carefully and carefully so that the other person feels valued and listens to his complaints.
7. Do not speak too fast
When communicating, try not to speak too fast or too slow, so that the other person can hear clearly what we are saying. Intonation or accentuation of tone and facial expressions also does not cause discomfort or danger to the other party. One of the factors that influence the message is not good, one of which is talking too long.
8. Speak politely and kindly
In communicating with someone you should use polite words, so that the communication process runs smoothly and smoothly and there are no communication barriers that can cause misunderstandings between the parties.
Choose words and sentences that are suitable for the person you are talking to. For example, some languages have specific words and dialects for older or younger people. use language according to rules with others. Also avoid dirty words that might offend others.
9. Avoid placing yourself higher than the other person
An example of applying politeness in verbal communication is not placing oneself above others. In some areas, this is common. However, you should avoid them everywhere.
10. Do not dominate the conversation
One example of applying manners in oral communication is not dominating the conversation. Give the other person a chance to speak. If you dominate the conversation too much, the other person may get angry and decide not to continue the conversation.
11. Be a good listener
When others share their opinion, pay attention and be a good listener. Especially if what he is talking about is pouring out or venting about his heart’s content. Others may need to be consulted to reduce the burden.
12. Avoid interrupting the conversation
In light of the previous point, to be a good listener, don’t interrupt the conversation. Except in certain cases, like when the conversation is too long or if you want permission to leave the conversation for a while. Must say permission to politely interrupt.
13. Avoid pointing at other people or hands on hips
The position of pointing at another with your hand on your waist shows pride and feeling above others. This is of course very impolite and will irritate other people. Instead, stand in a normal position and don’t point at anyone.
14. Manners When Talking to Three People
Be honest when talking to two people. Look at the two interlocutors alternately, so that neither interlocutor feels left out. Also, don’t whisper to just one person you’re talking to. This will definitely make other interlocutors uncomfortable.
Also, don’t use language that only one person can understand, such as whispering to one person you’re talking to, also making the other person uncomfortable.
15. Avoid excessive joking
Avoid as much as possible. Especially if the jokes are about physical fitness, religion, race, and more. Such jokes can hurt other people. Laughing too hard is also not good.
16. Manners of oral communication using communication tools
In addition to direct verbal communication, it is very important to know how to communicate through the means of communication. When starting a conversation, start with a greeting and introduce yourself the first time you interact. First, make sure the people you’re talking to are the people you want to talk to. When you stop talking, stop saying hello.
Manners of Speaking When Discussion
In addition to the examples of good manners when speaking on a daily basis, we have also summarized ways to practice good manners when expressing an opinion in a discussion below:
Indonesians often make decisions by talking to other people. However, it is not uncommon for differences of opinion to occur in the discussion. Such differences of opinion are natural and normal for everyone. From there, people learn to reason to reach an agreement.
Negotiations are held to avoid conflicts arising from differences of opinion. Therefore, we need the right way to direct our opinions to other people so as not to cause differences of opinion.
1. Express your opinion politely
If you want to express your opinion, say it politely and politely. Don’t hurt others with harsh words and promises.
2. Know Your Expertise
Before expressing an opinion, make sure that you know your expertise and have a good understanding of the subject matter of the opinion being expressed. This avoids off-topic discussions and creating conflict.
3. Make strong and clear arguments
In expressing opinions, should have strong and clear arguments. Better yet, you also have the data and facts to back up your point.
4. Don’t interrupt other people’s conversations
Don’t interrupt other people’s conversations when you want to express your opinion. Let the person you’re talking to express their opinion completely and clearly, then respond when asked to speak up.
5. Don’t attack people you talk to personally
Especially if it is not related to the topic of conversation. This, of course, is one of the things that can spark conflict in a conversation.
Because if you start attacking the person you’re talking to personally in an argument, it’s increasingly stating that you yourself don’t have a proper argument and are running out of words but don’t want to give in.
Conclusion
That’s all for a brief discussion of how to have good manners when speaking. Not only discussing the importance of learning manners when speaking, but also further discussing examples and their application in direct communication.
Learning manners when speaking is something that is very basic, especially for a human being as a social being because using good manners when speaking makes others more respectful and makes ourselves more civilized.